Wednesday, August 16, 2017

God Speed, Pyongyang

I have more hope in North Korea than in Donald Trump to prevent nuclear war. They have more to lose. Dumbass Donald is probably weighing the expected outcomes, levels of destruction and survivability of various factions and locales. This should not even be on the table, not with Donald involved.

Off With His Hair!

The only fitting punishment I can think of for Trump is to pin him to the ground and shave his head. This is my fatwa. In the name of justice, let it be done!

"Shoe-Gaze" Kelly, Our Man at the Insanity Front

John Kelly, I construed your remark at accepting your current position as a notice and warning to us and to Trump that you would not place loyalty to the president above the welfare of the country. Yesterday, you shoe-gazed your way through a press conference in which a madman, our president, showed unambiguously that he is unfit for duty. We're waiting for you to do the right thing, entrusting to you what that might be, but you can't continue to serve such a person. If you do you are complicit.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Trump News

Presenting Trump News, the answer to fake news and all the other biased media out there. This is news filtered through a Trump simulator and automaton generated by computer modeling and artificial intelligence based on data from decades of Trump's press releases, interviews, and official and other pronouncements from the brain, heart and soul of Donald Trump. By removing the human element, it is even better than Trump.

Filed today, August 15, at 5 PM. For immediate release:

Today at Trump Tower the president handled an unruly, unfair and belligerent press with characteristic restraint, flanked by two wealthy Jews, an unattractive Asian and a badass military dude who is entirely in accord with everything the president says. Fielding inappropriate, disrespectful and mean questions with a calm demeanor the president patiently answered and set the record straight on the left-wing activists who caused all the trouble in Charlottesville by interfering with a peaceful and permitted gathering and assembly by Civil and Second World War history buffs. The president is sorry that it all went south and hopes it won't happen again at the next such event so he asks that alt-left persons stay home and respect the rights of others to enjoy an innocent and harmless pastime. 

Monday, August 14, 2017

Trump Grudgingly Condemns Atrocities

So, now what? Donald was forced to do something he didn't want to do. Donald believes in retribution. Payback is his. Someone is going to pay. Maybe we are all going to pay. 

Putsching America First

I watched a video of the Charlottesville marches and the white-power guys are pathetic. They are obviously sorry characters and losers. This is not some replay of Munich in the 1920's and 30's. That is going on in Washington. The overt racists are a distraction. The real stuff is much more insidious.

The really threatening people are already in power. Only our governmental system protects us and the system is crumbling against an onslaught of corporate money, greed and power-hungry authoritarians. Forget about the idiots marching around playing storm-troopers. They are not the problem.

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Donald, we are waiting...

As the nation waits for Donald Trump to make a clear and definitive statement on the fascist meet-up and resulting murder in Charlottesville his underlings scramble to wipe his ass again after his first, characteristically incompetent, off-the-cuff effort. It's unambiguous, they tell us, trying to clear up the ambiguity. 

America is closing up shop...

Last one out, turn off the lights.

Fascists Feel Trump Love

It's too late. Whatever Trump does now the racists know it's politics. He can say anything but they know, since he didn't immediately condemn them for Charlottesville, he's with them in his heart. Other Republicans, like Marco Rubio, are using the tragedy to position themselves for the next election, in relation to Donald. What a spectacle of depravity. 

Trump Shrinks from Goon Rebuke

Donald, define "many sides." I see reactionary hatred, bigotry and intolerance coming from only one direction. That would be yours. You have cultivated an outlier personality for ages and been a purveyor of indecency, lies and scurrilous attacks on innocent individuals.

Oh, the White House has issued a statement from their place-of-business in exile, a Trump-owned golf resort, saying that Donald is a huge, huge fan of the Constitution and would love to defend it, as he is sworn to do, but he has bone spurs and is relaxing comfortably.

The big man will comment again on the Charlottesville hate crime. He knows that all of America is concerned about him. Everything else--nuclear war and racist unrest--must await the healing of the spurs. If only he could stop playing golf. But, you know how that is.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Prayer for the Death of Donald Trump

Dear Lord,

People die every day. In keeping with your wishes and inscrutable designs, why can't it be Donald Trump today? And then you better take Mike Pence--and Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell. And, well, you better take the whole Republican ruling elite and their higher-level subordinates. 

If this tips the scales for you, Lord, and you deem it necessary, go ahead and get on with the Second Coming, Armageddon and the Apocalypse. I mean, living under Trump is just too painful, hopeless and degrading. Really, use your own judgment but things are just a mess down here. 

This can't possibly be what you had in mind when you created the world.

Thank you, humbly, Lord, and best wishes.

A Simple(ton) Explanation

Trump isn't an intelligent guy with behavioral quirks and an odd, infantile way of speaking. He's a simpleton. 

Friday, August 11, 2017

Tech Twat Loses Bid to Secure Beach from Rabble

A tech billionaire has lost a battle in California to keep locals from accessing a beach or to extort them for the privilege, a small​ but heart-warming victory for the little guy. Was there really ever a time when Americans​ weren't​ such​ dicks?

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Fire Walk With Trump

We are all fired. We fired ourselves when we elected Trump. We voted ourselves out of the rights and responsibilities of citizenship. We disenfranchised ourselves. Now all we can do is watch in horror as Trump and his two-bit administration take us down, aided by a Republican-controlled legislative branch and judiciary. Great job, dumbass Americans. And the worst is yet to come.

The United States is Burning

The riots in which black Americans burned and looted their own neighborhoods as an expression of anger and frustration hurt black people themselves more than anyone. Working-class Trump voters have accomplished the same thing. 

They got some attention but as the shock of it wears off guess who's left holding the bag. As long as Trump is in power, however, the burning and looting go on, the result of an electoral license to lay waste, the outsourcing of destruction. 

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

American Apartheid

The two party system in America is evolving into a kind of apartheid. Democrats are the new black underclass, the people it's okay to despise and disenfranchise. Republicans come at their spite and drive for domination from different places but, certainly, the old, southern racists and the anti-commies were in the market for new antagonists. 

These groups were at least partly defined in opposition to supposedly inarguably inferior peoples. Neither group has a stable sense of identity without animosity and fear. They need enmity. Demonizing Democrats conveniently captured most black people and those who saw the world in a less polarized, Manichean way. Polarization is an American speciality.

Self-righteousness is as well. There are black hats and white hats, good and bad people and not much in-between. We are good, by God, ultimately independently even of how we behave, which is my definition of racism. Democrats are becoming the bad guys--a fully, systematically shafted political underclass in the new, American apartheid.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

On the Road to Find Doubt

Trump has us well on the way to self-destruction. It's nagging not knowing if we're already doomed, past the point of no return. If we were it would make sense not to care too much (it's so painful) and to abandon the fight--not the one to limit the human suffering but the fight to affect the outcome. Right now, as the racists crawl out of the woodwork and unreason has its day, it's hard to imagine that the foul trend can be reversed. 

Behavioral Matters

One of the breakthroughs of the Jews, as I understand it, was declaring that even the king was subject to the law since the law came from God. This was a huge step. It's hard for me to imagine it wasn't the deciding thing enabling civilization as we know it--in opposion to barbarism, tribalism and every kind of inhumanity.

It's equally hard these days to think that humans aren't fatally flawed and incapable of meeting this standard and thereby doomed to self-annihilation, what with Trump. Trump is the triumph of the assertion that behavior doesn't matter and the law doesn't matter and that power is everything and character nothing.

Monday, August 7, 2017

What do you do when there's no way out on the road you're on?

You turn around or you back the fuck up. 


Republicans want us to be afraid. The fear enables them to fool people into buying their lies and distracts us from keeping track of their failures, incompetence and corruption. An example: the zombie economic doctrine of cutting taxes on the rich.

It has never worked. It will never work but Republicans continue to push for it incessantly. Fear helps this irrationality go on. If we are fearful we empower the insanity but it's hard not to be. I'm fearful. I can't help it. Republicans are scary as hell.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Weather It Out

I think the best thing to do for the remainder of Trump's apocalyptic tenure is to work VERY HARD to limit the damage and weather it out. Pence is in many ways scarier than Trump. 

Could anyone be less competent? Then we work VERY HARD to drive all these nasty, crazy, ersatz conservatives back under the rocks and into the swamps from which they came.  

Friday, August 4, 2017

The Scumfest Continues

Trump's primordial presidency is oozing along, a truly unimaginable scumfest and I say this because he is sowing scum-seeds wherever he goes. The results of these will be with us for decades. We are still living with the catastrophic legacy of Bush and his reign of animosity, arrogance and incompetence. 

Again the beleaguered Democrats will have to clean up a Republican mess and try to forestall the country's descent into darkness. Such seems to be the longed-for outcome of the evangelicals who are impatient for Jesus, evidently heralded now by Trump, to ride in on a cloud and sweep them up to heaven. 

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Donald Trump, versus The World (of Reality)

Our fantasist president, inheritor of a fortune so vast it would have been hard to lose, fancies himself a scrapper but he's delusional, beset only by himself. Scraped, he was, more likely, from the bottom of a psychological shoe--our hideous, unowned darkness.

He is the thing we most fear but can't recognize for what it is because it's both horrible and the essence of us, the accumulated, festering worst of us--the monstrous, simmering product of decades of self-righteous, exclusionary, defensive, exceptionalist denial. 

We have become monstrous because we thought we were, by definition and divine right, incapable of it. Now we are crap and encountering ourselves in an antihero who is the agent of Satan, the prince of (our) darkness, here to collect the debt we owe on our souls. 

Conservatives, Be Not Concerned

Conservatives, behind all the chaos in the Trump administration there is much going on to further your goal of the destruction of the American State and the protections it provides for our freedoms and civil and human rights. Since Trump's knowledge of the things required to do his job was a vacuum of total ignorance and incompetence and his character the lowest ever recorded anywhere--let alone at the highest reaches of American civic duty--all of that space has been filled by the insane, well-rationalized and massively harmful policies festering forever in the inner sanctums of the think-tanks funded by your prominent, wealthy sociopaths determined to assert complete control over the country. Be reassured. You are doing very well. 

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Salvation Lottery: The Calvinist Roots of American Cruelty

There's a curious aspect to cruelty. It seems so inhuman. But think about the fatalism, helplessness and determinism of Calvinist doctrine and it begins to make sense. God appears to be cruel and unjust and arbitrary. A person's fate is inescapable and predetermined at birth. I can see how those with a Calvinist outlook would regard cruelty, injustice and suffering as unavoidable parts of life.

Like the Amish, Calvinists believe in effectively refusing to protect people from certain bad events--if what I have heard is true, that the Amish refuse, for example and among other things, to put lightning protection on their barns. There the similarity ends, though. Amish neighbors will all help you rebuild your barn if it burns down, regarding the catastrophe as individually arbitrary and bad luck. 

Calvinists, however, think that you suffer bad fortune because you deserve it and they will not only not help you they will mock you and look on you with contempt because it's a personal sign of God's disfavor. These are the roots of Calvinist and American cruelty and why evangelicals want to screw you. They want healthcare to remain a lottery and an insanely barbaric enterprise and utterly unjust.

They want everything to be cruel and barbaric because that's the way God made the world, patterned on arbitrary salvation, and it's wrong to mess with it or make it better. Good works are not only futile but anathema. Good fortune, especially wealth, is an indication of God's favor and poverty and despair are indications of moral depravity and bad character. In other words, Calvinists are mean, sick people.

If it seems to you that the country is run entirely by pernicious assholes it's because it is. If you can't believe they are as evil, cynical, smug, and serene in their depravity as it appears then get over it. They are exactly that. They don't give a shit about you or anybody else and we have somehow turned everything over to them. Evangelical, fundamentalist Christians are at fault. And Trump is their man.

Trump Hires Another Babysitter for Himself

With the last post in mind I now predict problems for John Kelly as chief of staff at the White House. Kelly is accustomed to structure, discipline, respect, and rationality within a given context. The problems in the White House with all of these originate with Trump and Trump isn't going anywhere.

Trump's tantrums and the disintegration of normal democratic, administrative function will continue and Kelly isn't going to like it. Trump will expect loyalty from Kelly and complete acceptance of his authority but Kelly will soon realize or may already know that he is dealing with a buffoon and an infant.

Monday, July 31, 2017

That Was Fast

Scaramucci is gone. He's going to have time to take care of that bambino. I meant to write something to the effect that Mooch wouldn't last because the town or whatever wouldn't be big enough for two such unstable, vast and competing egos. I hesitated and look what I get. I could've looked smart and Trump has already fired him. No doubt now we'll get some hideous hack from Fox News in the job and it won't even be interesting.

Second Mortgage: A Short History of the United States

The United States has never existed as a unified country but was only partly cohesive. The Southern States insisted on slavery and then segregation. Religionists in the South mortgaged their souls in support of their racist institutions which were kept up through overt and covert acts of intimidation with religious justification just like the Taliban.

What are thought of as American values existed institutionally only in the North, to say nothing of constitutionally legitimate government. Compelled to desegregate, the forces of racial subjugation regrouped and kept the hope of racist government alive. Republicans then mortgaged their souls en-masse in what is known as the Southern Strategy.

Racist, classist, and property and privilege-based government was reestablished through the Republican Party with the help of the Southern Voting Bloc. Instinctive authoritarians and other sickos with the usual dreams of unlimited power, wealth and world domination were drawn in. The constitutional version of the country ceased to exist.

This is the short history of the United States.

A Consistent Ethic of "Fuck You"

I have uncovered the hidden message and consistent ethic of Republicanism through a simple, binary analysis precluding any other result. The mutually (only one may win) and collectively (someone must win) exclusive, binary possibilities:

1. Republicans win
2. We win 

And now the political and policy results corresponding to those outcomes, on the Republican side, edited for clarity and conciseness but utterly true in spirit:

1. Fuck you
2. Fuck you

Therefore, the only possible outcome is "fuck you" which agrees exactly with what is seen in formal, field studies and reported overwhelmingly by hearsay.

I Think to Myself...

Is it not true that Trump can attack, and potentially nuke, North Korea at will? 

(the soundtrack to this post is What a Wonderful World sung by Louis Armstrong)

The City of Godlessness

Who knew that the long-awaited New Jerusalem would look like Donald Trump. Who knew that the hill-city would be in a literal and figurative swamp populated by invasives from the south and native 'gators--political pythons struggling against other higher-order, carnivorous reptiles. I would tread there with caution.

Trump Must Go

I managed to avoid Trump before his election and never saw his "hit" show and Ted Cruz is my idea of the antichrist, so I was somewhat hopeful that Donald would rise to the occasion and do a decent job as president if only because he didn't want to appear to be an idiot. What is clear now is that, apart from being an idiot, Trump is inconceivably incompetent.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

None Dare Call It

It seems trite to me and a little too obvious to call Trump a tyrant but nothing else fits as well. He's a tyrant working within a system that isn't yet a tyranny but it's very alarming how readily Republicans have sold their souls and swallowed their pride and lined up to pay homage to his power--if not intentionally to the man himself, a distinction without a difference. 

For all their wailing about political correctness the right-wing crazies have benefited from it for decades. So, away with that. Let's call them what they are for once: rebels and traitors. They have been playing off the civility and timidity of Democrats and the press. To hell with that. Trump shows them for what they are. Republicans hate America. Republicans hate decency. 

Republicans are traitors.

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Here's the latest...

The latest news, folks, is that Donald Trump, President of the United States, is dangerously out-of-control and probably unhinged to judge from his latest tweets threatening retribution based on a perceived personal affront no matter the legality or decency of it.

He threatened to unfund Obamacare and I couldn't quite tell what else but it had to do with punishing certain Senators for their votes. It seemed to me to be incoherent. Anyway, that's the news and thanks for tuning in. Have a nice evening and sleep well.

Headline: Sheep Drive Shepherds Off a Cliff

What do the sheep do now?

Beating a Dead Race Horse

I have no doubt that race is behind every measure by which we are now outliers in the developed world. Just look at the list of slimeballs from the South populating Washington and headlined by Mitch McConnell, Jeff Sessions, Tom Cotton and Trey Gowdy, not in any particular order of repulsiveness.

These guys all grew up in a tradition of generations of brutality and power-plays targeted at disenfranchising their fellow citizens and concentrating authority in a white aristocracy. Yes, it is about race but race is now incidental. Think of the poorer, idiot white daughters and sons of Dixie, the new screwees.

Poorer white peoples have voted themselves into oblivion and the outlines of the treasonous and illegal assault on our democracy are apparent. It is an assault on humanity and civilization by an assorted group of thugs with vested interests in consolidating power and intent on a descent into oligarchy. 
A humane oligarchy is theoretically possible but the latest round of abhorrent Republican stuff coming out of all three branches of government shows us where we are heading, unwillingly forced off a cliff by sheep and imbeciles comprising a core "conservative" voting bloc. Let's let race lie for a while.

This is an assault on civilization.

Friday, July 28, 2017

Not Ready for Prime Time but Suitable for Work

I was concerned about the strong language I sometimes use in my satirical, incredible backwater of a blog but now I know I'm okay because Anthony Scaramucci has cut loose all over the place in a phone conversation with a journalist and even about Steve Bannon going down on himself. 

I feel relieved and downright unshackled when it comes to calling Trump and his allies dickheads, reptiles, scumsuckers, primates and loathsome, reprehensible, degraded, unprincipled and self-serving slime. Donald seems a bit bogged down in his Augean Stable-phase these days. 

Let's cut him a break and enjoy the show but it's not for children. It is, however, de facto suitable-for-work since all of this output is on-record and unofficially, tacitly and informally U.S. Government-approved and paid for by us. These people are our employees and these are the new standards.

Republicans Fail on Stinky Repeal

The Republican effort to railroad repeal of Obamacare, reeking of hypocrisy and cynicism and promoted entirely by lies, has failed for now. The culture of lies and subversion continues, however, as the Trumpists will return to legislative legerdemain and sabotage to try to screw American citizens out of their hopes for decent, affordable healthcare.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Dickhead: the Donald Trump Story

Donald's is every boy's dream, to be born impossibly, impracticably rich and spend your entire life getting your dick sucked. To someone with a brain it's boring.

This is not a man's dream.

But this is is why our suckling has always married someone of inferior status and power, ideally someone foreign-born, and why he humiliates everyone around him.

He isn't a man he's a boy.

Redefining Subnormal​

Every day a new disgrace. What's a day without one--even I am disappointed. This is life in Trumpworld. Republicans have given us, as president, the biggest shit-pile they could find.

The Free Dick

Only dicks are free. Only a person who can say "fuck you" or "fuck off" is free. Assholes are free. The most free person exists perpetually in "fuck you" and "fuck off" modes and never cooperates or compromises except by whim, an indication of independence and power. 

And if you believe this shit then, well, Donald Trump for President. Oh, we already did that. 

Deep Naught

Nothingness--vacuity, emptiness--is hard to comprehend. Is it only a corollary to something-ness? Similarly what does "meaninglessness" mean, particularly in the case of a thing necessarily defined by what it means, such as Donald Trump or any other person? 

For a person to mean nothing is not to exist which is the challenge of infantile Trump. Trump is so embryonic and arrested he is inhuman. He is protoplasm and slime, not a swamp creature but the swamp itself, entropy incarnated and the realization of naught. 

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

The Four Freedoms of Republicanism

The Freedom to Want: Republicans understand motivation. Deprivation, hunger and insecurity make people work harder and build character, especially among children.

The Freedom to Fear: Fear is a great motivator as well and an antidote to complacency. Where would we be without the fear of Islamofascism, Sharia Law and Obamacare?

The Feedom to Lie: The freedom to speak is most fully realized in lying, even arbitrarily and purposelessly.  Anyone can tell the truth. It takes courage and creativity to lie.

The Freedom of Righteousness: Anybody can claim religious sanction and divine favor. Real righteousness is shoving your own religious preferences down other people's throats.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

This Just Happened

Notorious piece of garbage Mitch McConnell has passed something in the Senate regarding healthcare in order to save face and nobody knows what it is or where it will lead. It was bad enough when Republicans were willing to screw everyone in favor of themselves and their rich ringleaders (McConnell married his money) but now it appears that they simply want to have their way no matter what. Their bankrupt ideology has been upended by Trump and they still don't care. All they want to do is win and at any cost to the country. 

Republican Disgrace: Sucking Up to Trump

Since the dawn of Donald Trump the ranks of Republicans have shown themselves to be partisan to the point of treason. They don't believe Democrats are Americans and they think any behavior against the other side is justified as long as they have their way and enforce their vision for the country.

But they are wrong. Their failure in maintaining constitutional, legislative and judicial standards and traditions in the face of Trump's onslaught against everything America was assumed to represent is indefensible and unprecedented. There are no excuses. There is no justification. They are disgraced.

Enough Already

John McCain has gotten enough mileage out of having been a prisoner-of-war. He was amply rewarded when he married his beer-baron wife, following the usual Republican path of white men getting a leg-up, easy ride and affirmative action-handout as McCain did when he attended Annapolis on our dime as a legacy--admitted not because he was deserving but because of his family. 

McCain, a descendant of slave-holders, later hired the scum who had slandered him (as having a colored love-child) in a South Carolina primary. John had learned his lesson--winning is all that matters. So, he then chose Sarah Palin as his running mate, showing how depraved and cynical he was. Now brave John drags his carcass to Washington to vote against healthcare for his constituents. 

Brave man, John. Please die. You will leave the world a worse place for having been in it. Patheticly John is still trying to be top gun. So what if he flew jets and got shot down. 

Enough already.

Mitch McConnell's Revanchist Kentucky Scumfest

How clear does it have to get? Will Alabama-born Mitch McConnell have to hoist the Confederate battle flag above the U.S. Capitol before the idiot Yankees understand what he represents--revenge?

McConnell and his compatriots are not in Washington to run anything they are there to destroy. They are there to destroy the hated federal government which did away with segregation and slavery. 

It may have been about revenge and driven by instinct and resentment but the sons of Dixie--racist, authoritarian scuzz--have now established a regime based on the old model of property and privilege.

Apply the rule sine qua non and see it. Take away the South and everything wrong with the United States goes away. Rational, constitutional government would be in effect. It would be a fit place to live.

Fame Whore from Hell

Unbelievable. Indescribable. Donald Trump gives a speech to the Boy Scouts of America and simultaneously touts traditional Scout values and flaunts his contempt for them, flouting the usual decency and decorum on such occasions and returning to his typical trope of portraying himself a victim. 

Donald never rises above himself and he is utterly in the gutter, the lowest of common denominators, a pig among pigs and whore among whores, not just for-sale but always selling, incapable of breaking out of the model of dominance-and-submission--of giving or taking it up the ass.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Republican Ramshackle

Republicans aren't a house divided they are a house in disarray. Selfishness and cynicism don't constitute an ideology. An ideology requires thought-formation and they are at a more primitive level than this. Living like pigs and thugs isn't a matter of belief it's a denial of the efficacy of civilization in relation to primal, tribal drives so it's a rejection of individualism, democracy, any normal religious sense and the hope of asserting intelligence over instinct. 

Anyone who thinks this is desirable or fun is out of their mind.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

When Assholes Roamed the Earth

Our times should be known as the Age of Assholes in honor of Donald Trump, Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell and their legions of low-life scum and degraded, money-grubbing shills.

They comprise the new ruling class in America. The torch has been wearily tossed to them, a new (de)generation, by a bored electorate and now they are burning the house down.